Crafty me

I was advised last year that I need to get a hobby, something that was for me that I didn’t have to be Mum & Wife for, my instant thought was ‘are you serious’? This person fully aware of my life recommended I add to my stresses by doing more! Great one, what else could I possibly do? I do everything as it is & my horses are sort of a hobby not that I  had time for the enjoyment much. For my own sanity it was something I had to do to get out of that boring daily circle, it took me about a week to figure something out but it was staring me right in the face!

I’ve always been good at making things, art & drawing I’m not one that I imagine sitting in an office not very well anyway I need to create! I would sit for hours when I was younger drawing many things & now I incorporate my creativity in to my surrounds, mainly in my house or down the yard or my car. With a handy hubby who owns lots of tools, I pick up things he does on the house, join in then steal his tools to make things out of spare wood & anything else I can find adding my personal touches with emblems from my craft box. 

So I knew my new hobby would have to be along the same sort of thing, I really have no idea what else I’d be good at although I’m willing to try new things.

I decided on crochet, it’s always been an interest,  I would knit a ‘scarf’ with my Nan when I was little & she managed to teach me how to crochet a basic granny square but I wanted a beautiful lace style throw for my bed, these however were pricey & knowing what I do now I’m not surprised! So I decided sod it im going to make one.

I bought a basic crochet kit consisting of various size hooks, some yarn, scissors armed with You Tube I began.

Within an hour I had made my first flower, watching carefully taking everything in, different stitches, when to loop, my brain just sponged it up like I had been doing it forever. 

The next day I moved on to the granny squares with details, patterns & boarders & by the following week I was on to Amigurumi animals & turned to written patterns & learning all the abbreviations.

Time was issue!! Not having enough time to do more, once you start something you want to sit there until it’s finished, it’s addictive & so rewarding knowing I’ve pretty much taught myself to do this, I would fit in most of my crochet making in the evenings after the kids settled in bed to help me focus on that instead of other issues. 

I now have an endless list of things I’m going to make, boxes & bags everywhere full of every single colour yarn as you can never have enough, note book with patterns of flowers I’ve made that anyone looking at would think I was foreign, I have a c2c blanket I’m currently making along with smaller projects I do between it for myself or I make for friends & family as gifts & I get frustrated if I haven’t had a hook in my hand for two days!! Lol 

These are afew photos of what I’ve created in just the 9 months of doing this & im very much looking forward to lots more!

Natalie 🎨


Rainbows New Adventure 

When it’s time for your last born to start school & by this I mean ‘big school’ not their Pre school, the one where they go all day every day & are no longer by your side. For most Mums & Dads this is a very exciting time with lots of emotions about settling in, making friends, will they be ok? Getting that important ‘me’ time back but for those that their last born is their rainbow baby it’s very different.

Having lost a child before Logan came along it makes this time of year extremely worrying, with only afew months until he starts year R I’m panicking on a daily basis, comparing this to when my first daughter started, that was a lot easier.

I am now filled with sheer terror something will happen to him, what if he walks out of the classroom unnoticed? Or the playground? What if he chokes on his lunch? What if he gets lost while going to the toilet? What if he starts crying? I’m not there to help & comfort him, this makes my heart rip inside, but most of all if he decided to try returning home & escaping. I’m sure most will read this & think I’m silly, it’s a school of course that won’t happen & it’s unheard of yes but what if? 

My life is full of what if’s because it’s those that actually come true, I now see down the line & see things that could happen, yes it’s rare but it still could!

Having to live like this is hell, most will know it’s because after loosing Hollie, I’ve become an extremely protective parent after all it’s happened once, it could again so my job is to do what I can to make sure it doesn’t while also trying to let him be a child, explore, have fun & enjoy his younger days while making the best memories.

He is very much looking forward to starting school where his bigger sister goes, so over the last few months & those to follow I am preparing him for things like stranger danger, staying where you are told, stick to pavements, looking while crossing a road, toilet trips on his own to help us both deal with this huge change however I don’t think any amount of help is going to calm or ‘fix’ me, after speaking to a doctor about my separation anxieties & the school who have been amazing at showing me it’s going to be ok I am still a wreck & pretty sure I will be camping outside the school to make sure he’s ok! 

This has been my ‘job’ now for such a long time, I’m use to one going to school as another comes along until this time there’s no more coming along, I kind of feel redundant & put on the shelf, it’s an exciting time full of opportunities I’ve not experienced & I will be keeping busy for my minds sake with working but this unimaginable, it’s something only parents like me will feel fully & I have to not let it show so my fears don’t rub off on him masking his lovely positive attitude towards his new adventure. 

I thought the fears would disappear once he arrived safely in my arms, I was so wrong….they had only just begun! 

Natalie 📚