Most people that know me will be aware that my Dad, Step Mum & Little sis recently took a break from their lives in the Uk with a once in a life time opportunity to move to Austria for a year taking on a B&B, Austrian lifestyle & living the dream!
They have been gone a little over a month now & its true what they say, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone!” Although I was well aware of these awesome people I took for granted that they were just down the road.
I would get a lot of calls from my Dad as he was driving home from work, getting our family updates & having a catch up, we didn’t get the chance to see each other much due to our hectic lifestyles, my other sisters who are childless would have the time a lot more than me, which has always left me a little jealous. Even more so now as they book their visits leaving me behind, their funds are only to cover the cost of their own flights whereas I’d need to find enough for five! Deep down I know it’s not gonna happen especially this time of year & we have a birthday every week until April.
I’m watching their new lives on social media & im sure photos will be added as other family members join them in making memories, yes I probably do sound selfish, yes I chose to have kids instead of a career but it hurts, i miss them!
They have talked about using their time out there to build a foundation for their futures, I have fears that they won’t be coming back or if they do it will be to ‘tie up loose ends’ of course I will be happy for them & Olivia will have the best life out there, I would give anything to join them but I feel left behind, the offer is always there for us to follow but realistically, it’s not something I would ever be financially be able to do & I have to face that or more importantly others do, I get replies of hope but deep down we both know it!
I’ve never had to face being without a parent for so long, sounds silly doesn’t it? I’m 33years old & crying because I can’t see my Dad! Well when you have a close family this is the results, so what’s next? I pretty much have been carrying on as I always had but with abit of a hole in my heart, I’m trying my hardest to put things aside for the family that are here with me, making an extra visit to the Grandparents, trying to stop the diy for one day so I can have a meal with one of my sisters because life is going mega fast & you really don’t know what’s round the corner to change everything! It’s only in little moments, when I hear a saying you would say, a song you would sing, little reminds that you stop for a second.
I’m sure this is something you won’t find to read Dad but least it’s out there, I need a cuddle….I miss you!!