My last post was at Christmas time, I’ve been slowing down writing anything for one main reason, the time of year.
Although it’s a lovely happy time for all, new year celebrations, starting the diet, again! & everyone getting back to work/school, it’s also an incredibly hard time for us. I’m trying to stay happy for my other children here but there’s always that reminder that one isn’t, the start of another year without you. It’s just a reminder of how much has past since & how long I’ve been living as this new me. Not only that but in afew short weeks it will be Hollie’s fourth birthday so from December to March I become very quiet, sad & not able to deal with the world.
I look at our son Logan who is 10 months younger than her & im thankful that I made the decision to have him straight after as he brings me abit of her in a way, their progress everyday of growing up would be so similar others may find this painful but for me it’s lovely.
The next month or so I will not be me, I’m in the middle of a road that I have traveled down afew times now & know what’s coming, I may get angry, sad, cry while driving, not want to be around people then crave company so badly it’s all such a roller coaster that I don’t want to be on but have to ride every year!
For me there is no new year resolutions, events to look forward to but something very upsetting.
I will try to write posts on my journey as I think that will help me deal with things instead of keeping it to myself, it may help others understand & maybe other angel mummies can take comfort in knowing they are not the only ones going through it but we travel together.
I will try to end each post with something positive as hard as that will be I will find something good that has happened recently. So for this one it will be our 6th Wedding Anniversary was celebrated at new year so it’s not all bad, we didn’t do much just went for a rainy walk with our children & a bottle of our usual Asti was consumed in the evening, we even made it to midnight this year!
How about that I found two!!