Christmas has well truly started in our house, we put the tree up afew days ago with afew room decorations, we have started something new with an elf visiting the kids all month, they have named him Torphen & has been keeping a good eye on them while getting up to alsorts at night, it’s gonna be a fun month.
Logan will be turning 3 soon,just before Christmas & this year I’ve noticed how much more he’s understanding about it & he’s more excited this year which is keeping me happy, this time of year is also very hard & sad at the same time for an angel mummy, I’m wanting to make it amazing for my children here but it’s so difficult knowing Hollie is missing out, she would be so big now & very much enjoying it in a similar way to Logan, it’s heartbreaking getting through each day without her.
The following few months are complete hell for me I can feel the black cloud drifting over me & the pain getting heavy on my heart once more where it stays until after her birthday in February.
It doesn’t get easier as each year goes by, you imagine what they would be like now instead of a baby so in some ways that’s harder.
We are visiting Hollie this weekend which I’m looking forward to with lots of decorations for her & make her forest look pretty & are planning on spending some of Christmas Day with her to give her presents which will either stay with her or take home & put in her box.
The other children coming home at the end of a school day, watching a Christmas film or dancing to songs while eating choloate before dinner because ‘it’s Christmas’ are the little things that keep me going, make me smile & I can carry on!